Thursday, March 30, 2006

JOB CONTEST RESULTS 
Speaking of jobs, for any of you who made it this far I will now reward
with the entries from the "YOU make the call: Adam's Professional
Future" competition, because they are f*&$#% HILARIOUS. This is easily
the best idea I have had in months, and reading these made me laugh so
hard I almost lost my empanadas.

I left these unedited, but I included some comments in brackets.

Vote for your favorite and email me!

Cat House Concierge
High fiver
Hand Model
Proctology Assistant
Rodeo clown

Hostel mattress tester
International man of mystery
Union 417 laborer
Mormon on a mission
Conscientious defector on the run

Model talent scout
Hostage negotiator
Salesman (Q: "What do you sell?" A: "What do you need?")
Surf bum

Travel writer [author's note:I like this one]

Columnist for one of the famous broadsheets' Sunday magazine [from a
british friend who says it is like the New Yorker except no staple
holding it together]

Test driver for all GM prototypes (more believable than mentioning
Ferrari, Lambo, etc.)

Then there were those of you who wrote more then just job titles,
including descriptions as well, mostly because they are funny and at
the same time fascinating.

Wrinkle Chaser (The fellow who irons shoes while they're being made to
ensure they are perfectly smooth before they hit the shelves)

Chicken Sexer (sorts through baby chicks to separate and segregate the
cocks from the hens)

Alligator Wrangler (pretty self-explanatory though you
might be a bit of a weenie to claim it as your profession)

Then there is the more "um, over 17" Category- Mom, don't say I didn't
warn you.

Hustler
Oil wrestler
Erotic Dancer [twice]
Brazilian waxer [got this one 3 times]
Virginity Authenticator
Taco Salad Tosser
Hispanic Genetic Enhancer
Burrito Filler [okay, borderline...could be benign, but if you knew who
sent it, you would understand why I put it in this category]

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