Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I wrote this about two weeks ago, but did not post it. I decided to and I hope you like it. From reading it now, I seemed so uptight then...

I have been noticing a something prominent in the conversations I have been having lately. let me tell you what I mean:

This being my first time doing anything quite like this (i.e. leaving job, apt, city I know and going abroad indefinitely), I am finding that an interesting part about it is telling people in my life and then getting exposed to their experience of it too. I can't tell you how much I have heard the words "jealous" "envious," "live vicariously" and "my hump, my hump, my lovely lady hump"lately. The last part i just threw in there because all these people in my life love the Black Eyed Peas (BTW, which if you don't know what buying a girl Ice is, stay out da' club).

Though what I don't know if I expected was that people are right out there with their feelings. I appreciate the encouragement, but I think I am responding to the format.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about all the feedback. Part of me feels like I am doing something really exciting and that people are just encouraging me because they are happy for me. At the same time, through this experience of planning this I have had to visit my own notions about Security (i.e. benefits, steady income, predictability, etc) and all the attachments we have to them and the fear we feel of letting them go in exchange for freedom. I can see it in people's eyes and hear it in their tone-I know it because that was me not so long ago. It takes a lot of effort to make something like this happen, and the bulk of it for me was financial and emotional.

I feel like being a part of our culture, whether it's the world we live in, Corporate America, or just plain America, but there is a lot of fear, and it is interesting to pay attention to how the world we live in perpetuates that. Okay, enough thought for the day, let's get back to my earlier point:

So, even though I am hearing all these things with a lot of frequency, It is better other parts of my life, when I kept hearing things like "I guess I always thought of you as a friend" or "Mr. Boardman, your gums are really showing a lack of flossing" or "you expect to get girls withthat beard?" Yes, Erin, my charm and good looks are only enhanced by my manly facial hair (isn't that right, Langley?).

Regardless, Each of you have been so encouraging and supportive, and I sincerely appreciate that, and I realize how specialof an opportunity this is to take advantage of, even if on occasion thewhole idea scares me like out of me. Then again, isn't everythingworth having in life feel like that at some point?Although I haven't left yet, thankfully the dominant feeling hastransitioned from surreal to sincere enthusiasm. I mean, no matter howweird it might feel or how big my to-do list is, I know I am going to be in the middle of summer and away from 24 straight days (at last count) of Seattle rain in about 5 days, and then I get to backpack for a month.Yeah, talk about something positive to focus on.

Fate is smiling on me with connections: I just heard back from a Pomona alumni who I found in the Alumni directory (Thank you Nancy t-o) whoseems to being open to me stashing my "city clothes" in his closet whileI roam the mountains.Also, I spoke with Rafael, this bartender I met in capitol hill (611 Supreme for you Seattle folks) who is from BA and who referred me to about 10 of his friends around the country including actual phone numbers. I honestly met Rafael for 20 minutes and he is hooking me up like crazy. If this is what argentines are like, I am going to have lots of friends. Well golly schucks, Being nice, proactive, and having a positive attitude is working out great!


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